It’s 2015, and this generation of women has accomplished and obtains access to heightened social and economic successes. We have endless inspiring role models in all industries and social platforms. Michelle Obama will forever remain in history as our first African American First Lady, and the world is at full attention waiting to see if Hilary Clinton will win the next upcoming Presidential election. But with all these strides, I’m still noticing that many modern women still obtain old-school values on their womanhood.
As I continue to grow Detoxaholic and meet so many beautiful female entrepreneurs that have taken their financial destiny into their own hands, I’ve noticed that their incredible career accomplishments sometimes fail to be at the forefront of their self-identity. While I’m inquiring more about their courageous career risks and impressive platforms, if they are a mother or wife, that part of their lives seem to always dominate the conversation. While I’m trying to have a creative hustler-to-hustler talk, these Mommy-wives go in a trance of beginning every sentence with, “well, as a wife and a mother,” and I’m left in awkward silence and less enlightened. I’m happy for anyone who finds love and is able to build a family of their own, but I don’t need the run down about common everyday matters. I’m interested in the mark these women are aiming to leave on the world, yet in networking conversations, these married mothers seem to lead with their social titles like a badge of honor. For women, is major career or positive social achievements still put to the back burner of our psyche once we transition into marriage and motherhood?
Although this unspoken traditional sense of self for women still socially lingers throughout society, I however wasn’t quite raised with this notion. I was raised in a traditional two-parent home where both of my parents worked to take care of their four children. My father was always a hardworking, blue-collar man that never hesitated to sometimes have two jobs in order to support his family. My mother was super domestic, but was always a working woman. Looking back on my childhood, my mother always sustained her own identity. My parents held a pretty healthy social life and kept a good balance of having nights out without the kids. Plus my book worm mother always enjoyed her bi-monthly book club meetings with other moms in the neighborhood. I grew up with a devoted mother, but she still had her own life outside of her family, and that’s the way I intend to live my life. I personally feel that factors such as spiritual and financial balance, responsibility, and humanitarianism are major elements that define my womanhood. I am grateful and strive daily to maintain these life fundamentals and hope that my spirit can be my badge of honor.
Again, my intention is to not downplay the importance of motherhood or marriage. I believe both social rituals are to be honored and are major life transitions. I just hope that women can hopefully one day ease out of these heavy social restrictions that we place upon ourselves. I hope that we can come to a place where we have peace with the notion that we can control our career, finances, and livelihood, but not our emotions. We can’t continue to hold our emotions toward marriage and motherhood on a timetable and put ourselves through self-torture when life events don’t meet the imaginary mark.
Am I alone with this notion of The Badge? And do men share this social innuendo or this strictly #womanproblems? Share your thoughts!