So, um, I think I may have an office crush. I’ve never had one before and its super weird because I don’t view work as a place where I’m thinking to run into someone I may find attractive.  And most importantly, I’m too damn old to have crushes, smh.

As a single chick living in the suburbs and ambitiously trying to balance my work and creative hustler lifestyles, I admit that my attention to noticing attractive men has definitely declined. In contrast to my former days of living in Brooklyn, where city life easily puts you in an environment where you encounter so many beautiful men, meeting and dating them was nothing to think about because it happened so often and organically.

But now living in my New Jersey suburbia apartment complex, it’s the total opposite lifestyle. Very quaint, quiet, and everyone minds their own business.  You drive everywhere, so it’s very easy to chill in your own world, and the social scenes are super limited.  My environment is nice and safe, but perfect for someone in a relationship or married, not single. I’m in the process of trying to relocate and find a new residence in the city or its outskirts, so I’m working on being proactive to transition my surroundings instead of sulking in annoyance and boredom.

So back at work, I’m not paying anyone any mind. I’m always polite, but if I do happen to get a greeting or hello from an attractive man at work, my cynical mind always thinks that he’s taken and he’s just being nice.  I don’t think much past that and go on about my business.  There are a sprinkle of good looking guys in my corporate office, and as for black men, I can count on one hand.

So there’s this one black guy who I see every once in a while and he’s always very polite, warm and gives me direct, flirty and lingering eye contact when he greets me.  He’s a very handsome man, sports a bald head, groomed goatee, and looks like he’s no stranger to the gym. He looks like he’s in his late thirties or early forties (my favorite age range), plus he looks like a husband-daddy.  (Side bar, “husband-daddy” is a coined phrase I’ve created for super attractive men that have that “I’m financially settled-married-have children” look to their appearance. They’re a great strapping body type that looks like they work out and have good home cooked meals prepared by the special lady in their lives.  All of my family and friends tease me about this phrase, but it’s my thing and I could care less.) Anyway, this guy looks like a “husband-daddy”, and I don’t have any clue what department he works in, so I just brush it off and keep it moving.

One day at work about, about one or two weeks ago, it was the end of the workday and I was getting ready to head out. I really had to use the bathroom and I was power walking to the bathroom and the guy was coming out of the copy room and we almost crashed into each other.  He looks up from shuffling his papers and I look up at him and we’re super close to each other.  I was never that close in his face and never noticed his adorable puppy dog eyes and full, yummy yeah lips and cute smile.  I was trying to subtlety check him out, but I couldn’t stop staring at his mouth.  I could tell he noticed from the mischievous grin on his face, so I jumped out of my trance and apologized for the random collision in the hallway and continued to daydream about his mouth in the bathroom. Sorry, it’s been a while . . . sigh.

Since then, I’ve been on my Tevin Campbell steez and want to see if “can we talk for a minute, cause I want to know his name”. Now don’t judge me, but I kind of stalked him on my company’s directory and found out his name and what department he works in.  I tried to find him on social media, but had no luck.  I only found him on LinkedIn, and I admired that because it means he’s about his business!

But I barely run into this guy around the office, and when I think I do happen to see him in the cafeteria, he’s always swarmed by his dept. co-workers. But I never had to try to get to know someone at work who I didn’t already have everyday contact with.  I told my family and friends about my work crush, and they told me that if I really want to see what’s good with him, then I need to create the opportunity to talk to him one-on-one.  I mean he’s handsome, but I don’t know if I care that much to make this effort.

I mean, what am I supposed to do? Next time I see him, act like I dropped something and play damsel in distress, girl bye. My OG fifty year old female co-worker did give me some advice that is smooth and fits my personality.  She said, the next time I see him alone, go up to him and ask if his name is some miscellaneous name and if he used to work at some miscellaneous company because he looks familiar.  Then, that is a great ice breaker and we can formally introduce ourselves. I’m digging her advice the most, and will definitely keep that in my back pocket when the opportunity arises.

But I don’t know. He could be married or have a girl, and he’s just likes to flirt and smile at women he finds attractive to see if he “still got it”, ugh, there goes my cynical thinking again. I’m just thinking too hard, and maybe he can just be a new friend to make. Wait, his mouth is too yummy to just be the homey. So my fellow Detoxaholics, I’m open to any suggestions on how to get this poppin, any thoughts?